The DethExecution Series
by qualls1
Summary: Instead of boring you all with a chapter-by-chapter story of how Sweetest!Execution met Dethklok, I'll give you random scenarios in their very violent, drug influenced, sex crazed lives. Rated 'M' for details on all the stuff that should be censored ; Pairings listed inside. Includes mature matter and a lot of swearing. R&R cuz it's appreciated. Includes romance, gore, and smut.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.**

**Claimer: I own all my OCs. **

Instead of boring all of you with a chapter-by-chapter story of how Dethklok encounters Sweetest!Execution, I'm going to write random 'adventures' they go through (more like bloody, gory concerts and violent sex talks). And every chapter I'll hint on how they met and all that good shiz.

Rated T for the moment, might go up to 'M' if it calls for it. Includes everything the show does… so if you're shocked that they have a twenty minute conversation about cockblocks and tits, then… well, I seriously doubt you've ever watched Metalocalypse xD

The pairings go like this. It may take quite a bit before some of the characters hook up. Just cuz they don't date… neither of the bands do because it's just about one night stands and lap dances.

Anywho, the pairings:

**Blayze Mayhem x Nathan Explosion**

**Renee Chenelle x Pickles**

**Rommy Bachmeier x Toki Wartooth**

**Meeshka Vodovatov x Skwisgaar Skwigelf**

**Alfonsa (Chika)x W. Muderface**

**(possible) Charles Ofdensin x Julian Kingsley**

Okay then :) without further ado, you can start reading now. I appreciate any reviews, but please reframe from harsh criticism. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer them in the author notes at the end.

**oOo**

**HotTubklok**

**oOo**

"We've got to get us a hot tub. I swear to God dammit, it's like we have everything BUT a hot tub." Blayze had her head reclined on the edge of the giant hot tub, a slight buzz going on. If it weren't for the distinct smell of Murderface's body odor form the other side of the HT, then she probably would have fallen asleep. She, Pickles, Murderface, and Toki were all reclined cozy-like.

Most would think she'd feel awkward. After all, she was in a huge tank of steamy water with three men. Not just any men, either. Three sex-driven, half drunk, Dethklok members whose eyes were rested firmly between her boobs.

"Mrs. Mayhem?" It was one of the Gears who had snuck up behind her. She looked up, squinting at the ceiling lights.

"What?" She muttered.

He handed her a black phone, which seemed to be holding a call.

While she took it, Nathan came into the room, the slight jingle of the motorcycle keys in his hands. "Guys," He said in his gruff tone, "We gotta go get Skwisgaar. He's at a hotel with seven chicks that won't let em go."

His three band mates were suddenly jerked from their fantasy world inside of Blayze's lady-pecs.

Toki pouted, "Whys we gots to gos? He's the whore that gots trapped."

"Hello?" Blayze murmured quietly into the phone.

"_Where zee hell have you been?"_ It was Renee. A very pissed off Renee. _"You said you'd pick me up an hour ago!" _

Apparently everyone in the room could hear the French woman's angry shouts through the phone. They had stopped their bickering and turned to watch Blayze.

Oblivious to her new found audience, she gasped slightly and stumbled her way out of the hot tub. She was in her jeans and a mid-arm length black shirt. She had been convinced to get into the hot tub and she had willingly sunk into the warm water with all her clothes on.

"Shit! Wh-where are you?" She slurred, trying her best to keep from falling into the tub again. Murderface, Pickles, and Toki waited in a predator like state, biting their lips and waiting to be the one to catch her if she fell. 'Accidental' fondling of boobs was always the best.

But the black and pink haired girl managed to flip them off and walk to the couch-

-where she collapsed.

"_I'm at my parent's house. You said you'd pick me up two hours ago… I've had to sit here vith zem for two more hours zan normal, Blayze. I tried to call you! Vere is your phone?"_

Sloppily, the girl prodded at her wet pants pocket. "Oh damn…" she groaned softly. "I jumped in the hot tub with it in my pocket…"

"_Alright, vatever. Just hurry up and get here. Mère has been talking to me all day about 'vhy it is a sin to be a hooker'."_

"Y-You're not a…" Blayze blinked and tried not to vomit. "You're not a hooker. Like, not the street kind… we HIRE hookers… does that count?"

"_Vell try to tell zat to her and Père."_

"Okay… I'll be there in ten minutes."

Renee's angry tone melted and she chuckled lowly under her breath. _"You're at Mordhaus, right?"_

Blayze had to look around to confirm that. "Um… yup." Nathan had wondered around the couch to sit just a foot in front of her head. She just then noticed that Pickles and Murderface were fighting for a better view of her ass. Toki had settled instead on petting a random cat.

She gave the two of them a death glare and almost missed Renee's response.

"_It'll take you at least forty to get from zere to here."_

"Right… right, um, okay. I'll be there in forty, I guess." She rubbed at her eyes, "Gotta get a ride there though."

"You can ride me!" Pickles spoke up suddenly, "I mean… you can ride _with _me." He winked.

"I'm driving." Nathan said lowly. "You're all wasted. If you want to come with me, you can. We gotta get Skwisgaar anyway."

"_Are you still zere?"_

"Um, yea." Blayze said slowly. "Bye bye…"

"_Hey, wait. Are you bringing zem with you? Vat happened to our hearse?" _Renee asked with slight concern. She sounded far too bored to be angry anymore.

"Nothing happened." Blayze was starting to get tired of the conversation. "Look, I'll pick you up on the Dethcycle. Nathan's driving cuz I'm just about hammered… by the way, you're gonna have to sit on my lap or something cuz we gotta go pick up Skwigaar."

"_Great." _Renee sighed, then chuckled. "_Aw, damn. Mère is bringing out zee photos from my last marriage… get your ass over here now. I don't care if I have to sit in your lap. Just hurry."_

And she hung up.

"Guys, I gotta hurry. She's gonna kill me…"

"Who, Frenchie?" Pickles asked, taking a swig of vodka. "She'll be finnneeee."

Nathan stood and jingled the keys. "Let's go. I'm pretty sure Skwigaar's been raped three times by now."

"He likesch it rough." Murderface laughed harshly, following Toki to the door. Blayze tried to get up, but she tripped over her left foot and almost fell onto the stone floor. Pickles and Nathan lunged after her at the same time, Nathan getting to her first. "Thanks, bro." She said groggily, missing the look of slight jealously on Pickles's face.

**oOo**

**The Execution of Boredom**

**oOo**

"Urm, I left zee keys in zee murdercyle." Renee sighed. They were standing in front of the Warfare Tower where Sweetest!Execution dwelled. The tower was seven stories high, residing just over a ledge. Under it were raging seas. The tower used to be a huge lighthouse, but it had been shut down due to too many suicides.

Blayze slammed a fist repeatedly against the door. "MEESHKA! ROMMY!" She screamed. Being the vocalist of Sweetest!Execution, she was the loudest. "I KNOW YOU GUYS CAN HEAR ME!"

"I'll go get zee keys," Renee suggested. But the second she turned to go back down the driveway, Blayze planted a steel-toed boot into the door, sending it flying open.

"Or, you know, you could do zat." Renee grinned, gesturing for the guys to follow her. "Meeshka, are you even here?"

There was a very calm, very smooth, "Da." at the end of the hall way. Considering they stayed in an old light house, the main room was round with a circle-based couch and a kitchen to one side. As they all made their way into the room the 'da' was followed by. "Und I heard you trying to get my attention. Sorry about dat. I've been in dis spot for last three hours. I'm very… at v'one vith de world."

"As long as you aren't at peace with the world." Blayze grunted, making her way to the kitchen. "And you're fuckin lazy, that's what you are…" She let out a sigh, "Well, all I know is that I'm fuckin starved."

Renee asked Nathan, "You guys vant anything to drink? It's not like ve usually have guests. Vell, ozer zan Meeshka's daily dose of dick."

The Russian on the couch shot her a look of appreciation. "Nicely said." She murmured, picking notes at her guitar. "I was so used to calling dem my 'lovely little lapdances'."

Toki took a seat on the familiar couch, sinking into the leather cushions. "Hey were ams Rommy?" He asked innocently, twirling a strand of his hair between two fingers. Meeshka, for a split second, acted like the name was foreign to her.

"Oh, you me de lame bass player. Well, she's been doing de same ting for about an hour now."

Skwigaar, who had a freshly ripped shirt and tired, bloodshot eyes, propped himself up on the couch's armrest. "I had to do de same things for an hours too."

Meeshka smiled and made a small 'Hmm' sound. "Groupies gone wild?" She asked, not looking up from her strings.

A mere, angry-like grunt was sent her way.

"Sounds tough, da?"

Renee sat down on an armchair with a glass of wine in her hand. "And vat is it zat our little German has been doing-?"

As if she could hear her name, Rommy came flying down the stairs on cue. She was sledding down the stone steps on a mattress, her hair a mess.

When she got to the bottom, she was thrown harshly to the floor, making a very unpleasant 'WAM' noise.

"Oh God." Blayze sighed. "That's not in any way screamin'. Not even killer."

The brunette raised herself up "Ja, but zee bruises vill look screamin'!" she had a strange voice. It was cute, yet strong because of the German accent.

Meeshka, the Russian of the group, had a softer toned voice. It was more alluring than the others, save, maybe, Renee. The Frenchie's voice was always seductive.

Blayze, who was the most popular out of the group, had a low, scratchy tone, like she was a smoker. It wasn't manly, but it wasn't sugar-and-cream either.

Either way, they were all insane sluts in a band. Yet, it was different than other girls. Whereas a normal woman would allow a man to pleasure her, Sweetest!Execution prided themselves on being on top in more ways than one.

"Oi, Rommy." Chika had entered the room while the German bassist had made her fall. "I can hear you from three floors up. Bitch."

Chika (Alfonsa) was a fat-ish Mexican woman with a mole on her right cheek. She was normally very loud, very rude, and very blunt. She could also be violent, like now, as she slapped Rommy upside the head and plopped down on the couch.

"Be nice…"Renee cooed, taking a sip of wine.

Toki walked over to his German friend then, sat down, and said quietly. "Dids you gets the stuffs?"

She winked and gave a double-thumbs-up. "Of course. Vanna go upstairs and try it out…?"

He gave a mischievous smile and called over his shoulder, "Hey, guys, we gonna go upstairs and colors okay?"

"Good! Get the fuck out of here." Chika hissed.

"Be. Nice." Renee muttered between sips. Blayze turned to Nathan and nudged his leg with hers. "How's the new song coming? Ours is… meh."

"Oh God, why do people keep bringing that up?" The black haired vocalist groaned, tossing his head back. Normally, the term 'meh' would have irked him. However, Blayze was just the kind of person who could say that shit and get away with it. Mainly because you couldn't tell her what was brutal or not. She didn't give a damn and probably never would.

"Because we 'aven't 'ad a good song in two months." Pickles interrupted suddenly, taking the wine from Renee and gulping down quite a bit of it. She pouted. "_My_ wine…"

"So what?" Skwisgaar muttered, eyes on Meeshka's fast fingers as they moved across the strings.

"What do you mean 'scho what'?" Murderface shouted, "In other wordsch, Nathan keeps deleting all our schongs!"

It soon erupted into an all-out shout-fest. Nathan defending himself, Skwisgaar commenting every now and again on Meeshka's guitarplaying and then on the fight, Murderface yelling random bullshit, Pickles making very good points…

"Shut up!" Blayze growled, taking the wine bottle from Pickles and busting it on the side of the table. Renee and Pickles both let out a small "_AAHH!"_ of terror as the liquid splattered on the floor.

"Bitch!" Renee cried softly under her breath. "Now I gotta go get anozer… don't be so violent…"

"Look, our album is taking its sweet fucking time too." Blayze said harshly, shaking drops of wine off her hands. Pickles stared at the droplets on her hand, bad thoughts surfacing. Little did he know that Nathan was having the same reaction.

It was true that Blayze was slightly tubby. The one with the best bod in the group was either Meeshka (she used it daily), Rommy (she had a high metabolism and enough energy), or Renee. Rommy had sex and all, but she didn't use her body like Meeshka did.

Then again, Meeshka was into BDSM and other painful-sex shit.

But anyway, Blayze had this way about her that made men want her. It was strange and odd. If she wasn't the lead singer of Sweetest!Execution, maybe she wouldn't be so lusted.

After a way too awkward silence, Meeshka mused, "Hey I wonder if they're actually just having sex up dere."

"_Vat?_" Renee laughed. "Who are you talking about?"

"Rommy and Toki." The silver haired Russian said as if it was obvious. "Did you not here little scream a second ago?"

Everyone went quiet.

Then there was another small squeal and a scream. A few seconds later there was a wail, a female one, and a yelp from a male.

"OH HELL NO." Blayze growled, leaping from the couch and storming for the stairs. They all followed her, including Chika. She nudged Murderface in the ribs and chuckled with him. "This is gonna be good."

_**oOo**_

Alright, leaving off there :P

I'll get working on the second chapter. As a matter of fact, I may just write the first five then post them. I don't know, it just depends. Show your love and review! No flames please, even though OC stories are always a pain to get into. I just want you guys to understand that I'm not envisioning myself as any of the characters. They all have their own personalities that have nothing to do with mine.

THANKS!


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